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I
was having a serious stress-related burnout reaction
triggered by family problems ( a son dropping out of
university ) and work pressures which I felt impotent to
modulate. I had become depressed and had a very low
self esteem, I was feeling lonely and isolated and
starting to lose hope. I was dithering around trying to
make a decision as to whether I should return to my home
country or continue to work in the UK within what I felt
was a system toxic to spirit. I was grossly out of
balance and was living life out of alignment with my
core values.
You listened attentively and sensitively;
you offered a gentle guiding presence to me at the end
of the telephone; your voice was soft and soothed me ;
you offered other perspectives , you attempted to get me
to see things in different ways; you gave me tools such
as the NLP logical levels to approach my difficulties in
terms of need hierarchies; you helped me to see my
journey as a stage in spiritual growth as a heroes
journey , you gently pushed me when I encountered
impasses and picked me up when I stumbled. You helped
me become clear on my decision to stay or go; you
offered a counterpoint via the NLP tool of talking to
each hand which was a middle way to my either or
approach; you helped me start to really visualise just
how I would like my life to be and how that might align
with my higher purpose. I have more clearly identified
my Higher Purpose and the rest flows from that more
effortlessly.
I am calmer mostly; I am a little bit
more accepting of the way things are ; I am no longer
depressed; I have made the decision to quit my job and
go back to my homeland; but even more than this I have
re-awakened from being asleep to my True Self; the
coaching was not entirely responsible for this but it
ignited a flame within me which will never be
extinguished as long as I live.
SUZANNE GP
The issue: Making a decision on my
future career, specifically which of three different jobs
to choose.
How
coaching helped: Assessment of the situation
in a structured way, and having some external motivation
to keep on working on the situation and thereby allocating
time to thinking about it in a busy life. After three
sessions I made a decision which job to apply for and am
still happy with this decision now.
Dr Birgit Völlm, Clinical lecturer and SpR in forensic
psychiatry
************
Dear Susan,
Thank you so much for all your help over the last month
and even for the help before the first coaching session
as a result of your advice and reading suggestions.
When I saw your articles about life coaching in the
BMJ, I thought that the malaise your articles described
could have been written about me but I confess I had
my doubts that turning one's life around would be possible
just by talking on the phone.
One day I decided that something would have to be done
as the pressures of General Practice and its effect
on my family were beginning to become unmanageable.
To my enormous surprise and relief I am already feeling
a far greater sense of proportion and feeling of control
over life and events and I think am probably easier
to live with and work with and that is after 1 month!
Who knows what another month will bring? Thank you for
giving me back my sense of optimism
All best wishes J.C General Practitioner
**************
How coaching helped
In the summer of this year things were not going well
for me; I was struggling to function at home and at
work due to issues that had crept up over preceding
months and taken hold of me. I was unable to see the
wood for the trees, felt miserable most of the time,
and was no longer enjoying those things that I choose
to do for my own well being.
I was fortunate to pick up a copy of the BMJ on my return
from holiday and to read an article by Susan Kersley
entitled “ How will you respond to your wake up
call?”
Reading this I became aware that I did have choices
about the future, and that I alone was responsible for
improving my situation.
I rang Susan that week, and the process of change began.
Three months later I am back in control of my life.
My problems are not fully resolved, but I approach them
in a more positive way. The initial process of completing
forms for Susan enabled me to look at where I was, and
where I wanted to be. I set goals for coaching that
at the time I felt were over-optimistic, but have now
been achieved and for this I am deeply grateful.
I am better able to care for my needs and to balance
these with the needs of those around me. In accepting
that we all have choices in the way that we lead our
lives, and no longer feeling responsible for influencing
the choices that others make, I feel a sense of liberation.
Susan’s article asked the question;“ whose
life are you living?” The answer is now a definite
“MINE”! Caroline ( general practitioner)
**********
I more than happy to recommend life coaching from
yourself. Before using your service I felt my career
and personal life was stuck in a rut. Because of circumstances
I was doing a job I liked but did not feel fulfilled
in, and felt a sensible balance between my work and
social life did not exist.
I must also admit that I considered life coaching to
be a bit of a cop out, and not really the sort of thing
doctors should get involved in. Because we deal with
sorting out other people's problems we should be able
to sort out our own, or at least convince ourselves
that we are not badly off compared to other people.
Coaching changed that. I was made to find answers to
my own questions having first of all been encouraged
to determine what the questions were concerning work
and social life. no subject was considered too trivial
to talk about, and it was quite clear to me that simply
talking through things, once I had the courage to admit
them, made them easier to deal with and also provided
a plan for action. Some critics of coaching have suggested
you get no more from it than you would from talking
over problems with friends. I disagree, as your friends
are sometimes the worst people to seek help, from as
they have their own agendas for you, and can lack impartiality.
From working with you I gained neutral encouraging advice
and support. You also helped me develop plans of action
for projects I wanted to undertake. I gained great satisfaction
from seeing projects and plans through to completion.
Initially I completed what we had discussed so as to
present a tick box of things done for the next coaching
session. Eventually, I realised I was enjoying achieving
and ordering my life in a way I had not done before,
especially as the results, at all levels, seemed to
occur more easily than I had imagined once I worked
out how to approach them.
The technique you adopt of challenging people's assumptions
without being confrontational is excellent. The fact
you re medically qualified also made it easier to explain
problems that are unique to doctors.
Working with you has been great. I started coaching
on the basis that you could find and suggest answers
to my problems. What happened was you made me find my
own solutions and helped me put what I thought were
major problems in perspective. I now have a better career
and social life than before, and have learned methods
of analysis of situations that allow me to deal with
problems rather than be overwhelmed by them.
I can honestly say that life coaching, of the type you
use, would be of benefit to any doctor with a problem.
I wish I'd heard of you years ago! R. N. Consultant
Haematologist
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